User Stories – recovery from porn induced erectile dysfunction (part-1)

Here are some excerpts of recovery stories from users:

  • “Just after 5 days, my PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction) has been cured. I’m now enjoying sexual life with my partner and I do not have any urge to fap or to watch porn. Now, I’m more confident and find women attractive.”
  • “I consulted a doctor for my erectile dysfunction. But later I found that the reason was not just psychological, it was porn-induced ED. I’m now a few days away from the 90 day mark and seeing remarkable progress.”
  • “Two years back it was difficult for me to get an erection during one night. I managed to avoid porn for 6-8 weeks and now over the last year, I have noticed an increase in my sexual responsiveness. It was definitely been a slow recovery but the best one.”
  • “After quitting porn, my relationship with my wife has improved a lot. Earlier due to my erectile dysfunction, my wife had lost interest in sex and this made me frustrated. But after rebooting successfully, on the 18th day we enjoyed intimacy like never before.”
  • “My reason to be a part of the journey of quitting porn was breakup from my previous relationship. I always had performance anxiety when it comes to sex. Porn definitely played its role in my erectile dysfunction. Then, I decided to quit fapping forever. For the first few days it was too difficult. This was when I installed a porn blocker app on my Android device. After a few days of staying away, I still did not see any improvement in erections. But, later on it was magical. Now just imagining girls makes me excited. Stopping jerking off to porn has definitely made a positive impact on my sexual desires.”
  • “I noticed erectile dysfunction for the first time when I was 17 years old. I then started my journey towards complete abstinence from porn. My problems with erection have now been resolved and I’m feel amazing!”

Does Porn Impact Social Anxiety?

Yes, recovering porn users reported a decline in social anxiety as one of the common improvements they experienced after quitting porn. However, it is not necessary that porn is the main cause of social anxiety or depression in young men.

Here are some comments made by some of the users:

  • “After trying to quit porn for 2 years, now I no more have social anxiety. But there were also some moments during my reboot when I felt worst socially. But it may be worth it to keep patience.”
  • “Earlier, I  felt awkward and uncomfortable while communicating. After successful rebooting, I found it very easy to connect with everyone around me.”
  • “I found it too difficult to speak to my lecturer that I was referred to the school counsellor. But now I’m easily able to make eye contact with everyone I meet.”
  • “I used to watch porn at least twice daily but was socially anxious at social events and meetings at work. But after being porn free my social anxiety is no more. I’m now more confident and better at speaking and interacting in public.”
  • “I started to travel a lot to get rid of this addiction. I suffered from social anxiety and could not involve in any kind of normal communication with people, especially girls. But, I’m continuing this process of quitting porn forever and will get success one day for sure.”
  • “I had a very bad social anxiety for the past 20 years! I had always faced difficulty in facing new people and exploring new places. I had a constant fear in public. But with God’s grace, I recovered gradually and now I’m more confident and productive.”
  • “I’ve been jerking off since I was 12 and was awkward with people especially, girls. It was to quit porn. That’s when this website blocker app helped me. After 6 months of quitting porn, I became calmer in social interactions.”

Users on emotional changes after quitting porn

People who quit porn frequently report one very important change: they feel more emotions. Here are experiences shared by a few users who are quitting porn for good in regard to emotions:

  • “Like any other addiction, porn numbs your pain. It also numbs the positive range of emotions like happiness, hope, joy and love.”
  • “you will experience emotions you haven’t felt for years. Girls became attractive again and you will not see them as a sexual object. But sometimes you will feel sad, depressed. But don’t fall into that trap. This phase will pass soon and you will grow stronger. It might not be easy but it is worth doing”
  • “I had never thought about things like grief until I started the process of quitting porn and stopping fapping. I suddenly witnessed strongly, my emotional side. It was very important to me at that point in life to feel those feelings. What helped me in this process was having a website blocker called BlockerX”
  • “For me, this change did not happen overnight. I used to be a very emotional and affectionate person before I started porn. But, after I started watching porn, it made me insensitive to love and emotions. Now, I have gone for 20 days without porn and masturbation. And few girls are already approaching me.
  • “Masturbation to porn had numbed the extreme feelings, I now experience these emotions like never before.”

Exactly how does porn numb our emotions? Our brains evolved to strive for homeostasis. If we’re bombarded with intense stimulation, they adjust. Chronic overstimulation can thus lead to numbness. Removing the overstimulation feels dull and meaningless, but gradually the numbness reverses itself and enthusiasm increases.

Doug Lisle explains this excellently in his TEDx talk: The Pleasure Trap. He explained how overeaters can reverse food cravings with periods of fasting. The same principle of increasing sensitivity by avoiding overstimulation applies to masturbation and porn.  

If you’re wondering how to stop masturbation, NoPo might be a good app to help you.

User Story – how quitting porn changed my life

You always hear that masturbation is healthy and they are right, but the word ‘moderation’ does not usually follow. I grew up in the world of free porn and my life was good.

For every sort of problem, I had only one solution – PORN!! After a while of watching porn and masturbating to it 2-5 times a day, it becomes a part of your daily routine, you just don’t realise about it as something that could be harmful. I usually believed that I had the worst luck in the world. I had a few girlfriends and I used to look at them as sexual objects and nothing more. I used to look at a beautiful woman and become excited while noticing her beauty, her smile, her voice. But that was all gone, all I wonder if I could find a pornstar that looks like her?

One day, on the internet I somehow came across a video, a Ted Talk named “ the great porn experiment”,  which was nothing but a discussion on the effects that internet porn has on your brain and how quitting porn can have a huge impact on your life. So based on the video, I browsed the internet and came across NoPo – quit porn app. After going through the app, I thought to give it a try. The first 2 days were very difficult to resist the urge. I finally realised it is a serious addiction and I have to stop it immediately. Not just masturbating or not just watching porn, it is the combination of these two that work as escapism in your life.

By the 4th day, I believed I could change my life.  Well, after 10 days, I started admiring the beauty again and women became important to me.  My brain functioning speed increased. Conversation with people became smooth. Self-confidence boosted up, energy levels and creativity increased. I became a caring and affectionate person again. My sexual performance also improved and it became very easy to connect with my partner.

It is very normal, thousands of people are doing it and the benefits I mentioned is just a start. I have stopped counting the days, I’m well over 90 days now and the benefits are tenfold. It’s up to you so, get up and stop masturbation and porn. To do this, you might want a strong website filter for your phone.

Is it okay to fantasize during the reboot process?

Fantasizing activates sensitized addiction pathways, causes an increase in dopamine, which further increases restlessness. It increases the chances of relapsing and keeps addiction pathways active. Some lab studies show that fantasizing about sex de-motivates individuals to engage in romantic relationships.

  • A lot of guys report that fantasizing during reboot has the opposite of the desired effect. It is rather better to rewire your brain to the real deal.
  • Fantasizing is healthy and normal but the problem arises when you change your focus to constant masturbation only with wrong, non-real scenarios and women.
  • Some people prefer avoiding all the fantasy even looking at women or everything related to sex while rebooting. Fantasizing slows down the process tremendously.  So first decide to quit porn and stop masturbation as well. That’s a great start.

Fantasies should be avoided once you start rebooting because, in the beginning, our fantasies are the modified versions of the porn scenes that are saved in our brain. It numbs brain activities. A healthy person will not be harmed with his fantasies, while a porn addict who keeps fantasizing will only make things worse.

Porn fantasies can lead to relapsing in future and they can enforce the neural circuitry to crave for it more. However, there are some fantasies that might not cause, provided:

  1. It does not involve sexual acts.
  2. It does not involve any Porn stars.
  3. It does not  focus on specific body parts
  4. It does not strictly involve visuals, it can include other senses such as touch, smell and sound

Getting out of fantasies is a hard task but it becomes easier after a while. You start noticing your sexual desire completely depart from you. And this can make some people panic. But this was just a beginning in the process of quitting porn forever with no fantasies. After a few days, he said that he started to arouse naturally. It was incredible.

Therefore, to conclude, It is not okay to fantasize about porn, it makes your recovery difficult and maybe longer. Will power is not always dependable. It will help to have a web filter on your phone to effectively quit porn.

If you’re wondering for ways to avoid watching pornography, NoPo Gold might be a helpful app for you.

Is having sex necessary for rewiring?

The nofap process will help with rewiring of the brain from porn addiction. Rewiring will speed up things once normal sensitivity is restored. But there is a point where a person either does not connect with women naturally because he had watched porn from say, age 9 to 21 or there is a point where the brain can deeply wire for porn that the porn- pathways will never weaken.

A story shared by one of our users:

“I lost my virginity when I was 20. I never had any previous sexual contact with a girl before, but I had been masturbating to porn since 6 years. I masturbated first at the age of 14, so I didn’t do anything to have an erection for a real girl. It was naturally there. I used to masturbate only minimally and did not escalate to porn compilations. So I guess I didn’t get desensitized. I didn’t start on porn but the point here is that I naturally had wiring for a girl. So, do you think a guy can abstain from PM and all O’s until he can get erect with touch alone, and therefore be able to have sex with a real girl without rewiring?”

I don’t know if this applies for all people, but yes it is possible to reboot without rewiring. Because if you can get an erection by a mere touch you can have an erection when a girl is touching you. Unless some unique anxiety happens.

Some people assume rewiring as “real sex”. They believe they have to have sex to rewire. However, just imagining girls, being around them will help in wiring one up. So,  I think anyone can rewire to real partners.

A few guys visit prostitutes to rewire to “normal sexuality”. But it does more harm than good.  It is nothing like intimacy with a real partner.

It’s also important to understand that anything that isn’t normal doesn’t help rewire the brain. That’s the reason rewiring requires completely abstaining from watching porn. You might want to install an effective website blocker on your phone.

Rewiring is learning. Hence, it should be consistent. Few visits to prostitutes will not do any good. Secondly, rewiring should match reality. Also, the inability to achieve an erection with a prostitute will create more anxiety. If you’re trying to figure out how to get rid of masturbation habit, you might want to check out NoPo app.

Does reboot only mean not ejaculating?

Some persons undergoing the rebooting process believe that as long as they avoid ejaculation, they are successfully rebooting. This leads them to start an unhelpful practice called edging. It is masturbating up to the edge of orgasm, then revving up again. Three common versions of edging:

  1. Masturbating without porn and no ejaculation
  2. Masturbating with viewing of  porn, no ejaculation
  3. Watching porn without masturbating

Since a reboot is termed as no porn or it’s substitutes 2 & 3 make no sense. For those trying to quit porn and stop masturbation, edging while viewing porn is actually worse than having an orgasm.

Edging without porn

It is not similar to the edge with a sexual partner. Sexual intercourse means wiring your sexual response to another person. It is important to know that sexual stimulation is the highest level of naturally produced dopamine. It is at a peak during the process of edging. At orgasm, prolactin rises, which decreases the dopamine to lower levels and hampers its release.

No edging versus edging, here’s what some of our users say:

  • One user: 2 years ago started on the journey of quitting porn and I got extensive energy from it.
  • Another guy explained even a small edge is dangerous, it increases gradually and it becomes difficult to resist the cravings.
  • Another person explained that edging is worse. You should stop it immediately. Porn use alters the brain and causes sexual dysfunction.
  • Another user reported that his varicocele pain was due to the practice of edging. But when he started on the process of quitting porn, it vanished within a week and there was zero pain in his testicles. It is important to understand that edging and varicocele pain are related. It aggravates the pain.

Edging to porn

Edging can keep dopamine levels high for hours. Further, edging to porn, doesn’t provide any benefits as the dopamine secretion and arousal are still connected to porn. These high dopamine levels push the reward circuit to repeat it again and again. It conditions your sexual arousal to everything related to porn use. Dopamine increases when something is better than expected but drops when expectations are not met. When real sex doesn’t match porn, dopamine drops along with your excitement and erections.

Some urologists also suggest stopping masturbation without orgasm (edging) because it can cause pain in the testicles and cause many problems in the prostate.

To conclude, edging is not the correct way to recover. It just increases your dopamine and slows down the recovery.  It is worse than masturbating.

FAQs on reboot

How long does it take to reboot?

For some it takes less time while for some it takes more. An average reboot takes 90 days-120 days. Therefore it is recommended to set goal ( say 90 days) and then divide it into smaller goals that will be easier to achieve.  You can divide it like :

  • 3 days;
  • 7 days
  • 2 weeks;
  • 3 weeks;
  • 4 weeks
  • 6 weeks
  • 2 months;
  • 3 months;
  • 100 days.

Can I go back to watching porn after reboot?

No, if you start watching porn again, your whole journey of quitting porn will be in vain. Rebooting means completely quitting porn, and living a real life instead of the cybernet one.

Is it ok if I only watch porn once while rebooting?

No, it is not ok to watch porn while rebooting – not even once. If you want to successfully reboot in a shorter period of time then you have to stop watching pornography completely. If you watch porn, it will set you back by around ⅓ of your reboot and end up with a urge so you do it not only once and end up killing your whole reboot process. It’s advisable to install a porn blocker app to help you stay away from it.

Is it ok to masturbate without porn?

It is a better choice than combining it with porn. Still, if you want to reboot successfully, you should stop masturbating as well.

What is edging?

A masturbation without orgasm.

Is edging ok?

Edging is not the best way to reboot rather it is a temptation. But, you could end up having an orgasm.

Can I have sex?

Yes, if you’re experiencing ED you can try to avoid it for once. However, In any other case – go ahead. It shoots libido levels and has positive effects on your reboot.

What does PMO stand for?

P – Porn

M – Masturbation

O – Orgasm.

What does PE/ED/DE mean?

PE – Premature Ejaculation

ED – Erectile dysfunction

DE – Delayed Ejaculation

What is a flatline?

A period of time when you have zero sexual desire for sex. But it’s only a phase and it passes.

So where does one start on the reboot?

First of all you can start by getting rid of your porn related collection. Delete all the videos, pictures, bookmarks and throw away porn related magazines.